Why do some parents view their child’s teacher as the enemy???

There can be any number of reasons for that kind of reaction.

First, many of the parents didn’t like many of their teachers growing up, and allow this to carry over to adulthood. Combine this with wanting to be protective, they are likely to side with a child if there is a dispute or if the child feels “picked on” or otherwise doesn’t like the teacher.

On top of that, many parents have had bad experiences with some of their children’s teachers in the past, and it only takes one bad interaction to color ones opinion of an entire profession. You see this very commonly among law enforcement, but it happens with almost anyone in authority, including teachers.

I have three kids and I have respected and appreciated the vast majority of their teachers, but there have been a few that have worked me up and I am sure that is true of many parents. Teachers who we don’t feel give our children the time and attention that they deserve. Teachers who “phone it in.” And those who’s personalties just seem to clash with our children’s or our own.

The fact that you are asking the question tells me that it is unlikely to be among the ones who don’t give it their best effort. I suspect it is simply a matter of personality conflict. And, if that is the case, there is only so much you can do.

My advice to you is to take an honest appraisal when you have a clash with a parent. Is there anything that you could have done differently? Was there anything to their complaints? If so, learn from it and improve. If not, let it go. You will never be able to please and get along with everyone. Life is too short to let it keep you up nights.

It’s for the same reason some of us (teachers) think the parents are out to get US. People have differing views on how to do things, and nowhere do people differ more than how to raise and educate children. The great thing is that both “sides” want what’s best for the child- there’s just different ways to get there. I’ve only been teaching for 3 years, but I’ve certainly had my share of parents who viewed me as the enemy. Once we butt heads enough, we may come to very different conclusions, but there’s usually enough respect for one another to come to some sort of an understanding.

I also think it doesn’t help that our colleagues are out there having sex with students. It’s rare, but it’s not as rare as it should be (as in, non-existent). That doesn’t really help our case much.

First off, you are a better man (or woman) than I.

I taught for almost four years and stopped for the very reason you are mentioning.

I guess, every parent would like tho think that their child is at the top of the class (even if they are dead wrong), and don’t like to be reminded that their kid is not. Also parents view their child’s behavior as a reflection on their skills as a parent. So they are defensive. Thirdly, a teacher may remind them of a teacher that gave them a hard time when they were in school.

A lot of administrators are not supportive of their teaching staff, and many parents are keenly aware of it and capitalize on it, at the expense of the teacher.

Unfortunately, defensive, even abusive parents are a huge issue for teachers, and sometimes why they leave the profession for something easier!

Some people are full of anger and take it out on everyone….they could be in denial if the child isn’t doing well or is having learning difficulties. Lastly, if the child gets in trouble or causes problems, parents sometimes thinks the child can do no wrong…is a perfect angel or simply are naive and believe the child that the teacher “picks” on them. Anyway, don’t take it personal just know that you are building a better tomorrow by shaping the minds of today! Good luck and God bless you!!!!

Flower Girl…that is very sad…where do you live that the schools are so terribly equipped and staffed?

I don’t understand the friction between parents and teachers either. At the beginning of every year, I arrange a meeting with my (problem) kid’s teachers. I always try to express right off the bat that we are on the same side, that I will take their word over my kid’s, and that I will try to keep the communication lines open. I find that the problem is not only parents (particularly parents of kids who seem to get in trouble) but also teachers. When a kid is in trouble (with behavior or grades), there is a tendency to want to put the blame somewhere besides the kid. (ie. he’s bright enough to understand this, so he must not have a good teacher OR his behavior is so bad, he must not have any discipline at home) This shifting of blame is just the ammo a bright, troublemaker needs. They learn very quickly to pit one against the other, then our emotions get the best of us and we feed right into it. It really helps to get with parents from the beginning and frequently throughout the year. Not only do you build a relationship and share the little problems before they get out of hand, you stop the kid cold in his tracks when he wants to use you to excuse his bad behavior.

I am guessing the parents did not feel they were treated fairly by their teacher(s) when they were children! Thus, they want “better” for their kid than they received.

As a parent, you have NEVER felt your child was not receiving the best? If not, lucky you. I have teacher friends who I feel are BRUTAL to their kid’s teachers and principals! Once I told a friend to back off on her kid’s teacher-bashing, and I was told, essentially, to just back off. Whatever.

I could never teach children. I leave it all in your hands. I trust that you will do a good job. If you don’t, I pray the next one will.

Have you discussed your concerns with the principal, or others in your school as to how to handle this situation? I am guessing you just offered your frustration here in Yahoo as a venting mechanism. That is fine. That is what we are here for. 🙂

Well from a student point a view:

Maybe if the kid comes back from school and brings home a F and it continues when the parents think that the kid is a smart kid they might blame the teacher. Or some just don’t like teachers in general and just don’t like them. Some parents don’t want their kids to think other thing so that could be another reason.

Parents are naturally protective of their children, as you well know. It can be difficult when a parent perceives that their child is being judged too harshly, or treated unfairly. My wife has volunteered at my sons school since kindergarten, so she knows first hand that our children are not ‘perfect’, she also knows the teachers very well. Children can easily make themselves seem blameless since many parents want to believe it. Sadly, the parents that are in denial about their ‘perfect’ children, may still be in denial when the child grows up to be undereducated, and quite possibly a criminal.

of direction the youngsters are actually not accountable, and no, they don’t visit hell. this is the place extremism differs from mainstream Islam. One ought to never confuse the two. reasonable Muslims never teach that.

because some parents never want to take responsibility for their children. they are unable or unwilling to accept the fact that their child–and by extension they themselves–could have done something wrong. it’s so much easier to lay the blame on someone else. i wish i could tell parents that, ‘i’m sorry but your kid is an idiot.’ or ‘it’s not my job to discipline your child, it’s yours.’

but alas i never will. i just do my best to avoid ever being in that situation.