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I need your help to translate typical English/USA expression in french…?

Can you help me ? Or explain me…

1. John wasn’t invited to the party because he’s such a wet blanket and Paul had been on the wagon for a month.

2. There was nothing I could do. It was a classic catch 22.

3. Is DUI a big problem?

4. He couldn’t face the future in the slammer, so he took the lam after the robbery. He got away clean.

5. Let’s get on the same page.

6. I’m gonna bust a cap in your ***, honkey!

7. His ETA was postponed because he was MIA.

8. He’s as tight as a duck’s ****.

9. She’s got a finger in every pie.

10. Turn on the power, hit the switch and Bob’s your uncle.

11. I’ll give him a bell on his dog and bone.

12. I’m the one who really calls the shots in this house. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

13. That tone of hers always cuts me to the quick.

14. I suppose you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.

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cavyslave2000
1: wet blanket = boring, dull person

on the wagon = stopped drinking alcohol/booze

2: catch 22 = a problem you can’t solve because doing something only creates another problem or makes the original problem worse

3: DUI = driving under the influence/driving drunk or on drugs. A very serious, very illegal thing to do in the US.

4: slammer = jail lam = went into hiding got away clean = wasn’t caught

5: Make sure we’re talking about the same thing/agree about a situation.

6: bust a cap = shoot a bullet

7: ETA = estimated time of arrival

MIA = missing in action (lost, not where he was supposed to be)

8: tight = cheap/not wanting to spend money

9: involved in every part of a situation. Like someone giving money to all the candidates in an election. A similar expression is: has a horse in every race.

10: never heard that one before. sorry

11: never heard that one before either

12: calls the shots: makes all the final decisions.

stick that in your pipe and smoke it = deal with it/accept it

13: tone of voice (can be sarcastic/whiney/bossy) makes me very angry

14: you can’t turn something bad into something good, sort of like having a 15 year old car and giving it a new paint job. It’s still an old car.

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