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♥aesu♥

i need some advice on this small paragraph?

now i want to give a neat ending to this.

can any1 help me?

especially the one with the brackets.

i would like to keep it as the last lines.

Each new beginning holds the promise of success.

Create an exciting vision of ourselves and the life we desire.

Write down a plan of action for accomplishing our goals.

Magical things tend to happen when you put pen to paper or finger to keyboard. The very act of writing down things, brings them out of our heads and into the physical plane.

Set short term, measurable goals and assess the progress periodically.

Establish a support system and accept the strength of others to supplement your own.

{{Be positive, spend time in prayer and trust the yearnings of your soul. So it’s never too late to make a new beginning.}}

THANK YOU and have a wonderful day.

Top 5 Answers
Anonymous

Favorite Answer

I think it’s a great paragraph. I just have a few suggestions:

1) You keep changing persons. IE, you say “magical things tend to happen when YOU put pen to paper…” and then later on you say “…brings them out of OUR heads…” you should stick to one. I recommend using ‘you’ for the whole thing, but of course it depends on the context and why your writing this.

2) “The very act of writing THINGS DOWN (change the order) and leave out the comma that you put after things IE change it to: ‘the very act of writing things down brings them out…”

3) When you say “assess the progress” you should say either YOUR progress or OUR progress (depending on which one you chose for the paragraph).

4) In the very last sentence, just leave out the ‘so’. Make it just “It’s never too late to make a new beginning.”

Fantastic paragraph!

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treasure
The one in brackets is a run on sentence

Be positive, spend more time in prayer. Trust the yearnings of your soul. So it’s never too late for a new beginning.

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Alan G
Ok this oddly applies to me so on with it.

Add a break down into supplies needed or topic to be discussed dealt /handled, after sentence 1.

Make a new paragraph of the second sentence.

In the sentence on assess the progress, add actual time periods daily, weekly, monthly, suggest a calender of progress be used and comments on progress be written in daily.

In the accept the strength sentience add, ‘and seek out strength or knowledge in others when you need it’.

Oddly I am now disabled and need a new start and, this started me thinking, and now I have to get to the doing, something. Thanks hope this helps you, it helped me .

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4 years ago
?
one hundred fifty-a hundred and sixty lbs and 5’5″ isn’t TOO heavy set, yet you (on purpose?) ignored to put in your top. in case you’re 6′ tall, it is form of thin, yet once you’re 5′ tall, it is unquestionably form of fat.
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MissyFlexsy
avoid so
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