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How can I convince dad to homeschool?

I’m 15, and go back to school in 15 days, me and my mom would like to homeschool, and dad is just saying no. I don’t think he really has a reason, iI’m just wondering if he don’t want me to be “different” also he hates change. We would be using the A Beka curriculum with the dvds to teach me. We have the info and everything, we just need his okay… but he won’t say it. I’ve been depressed about this for several days, this is a major chrisis, I don’t know what to do. I’ve showed him diffferent things about homeschool, and even gave him a presentation why I hate public schools, he won’t even start to give in. I’m not like any of the people at Public Schools, there aren’t many Christians there, plus there isn’t a Christian school nearby…PLEASE HELP!!! PLEASE!!!!

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I think you’ve got to accept that your dad is not going to say yes. Have you had your mom ask, “How would homeschooling have to be for you to say yes?” That’s the last thing I can think of; find out what he sees as the limitations in homeschooling.

Do you know what a psychologist would tell you about your depression over this issue? That you’ve got to put your thoughts elsewhere. YOU can control your thoughts about your life. You can also control your feelings. Most kids don’t realize this. And I’m not saying it’s easy, but if you’ve got to, you’ve got to.

The problems you are having in school are because you would like school to be one way, with the kids one way, and that ideal isn’t matching up. You would like to fit in, you would like to have friends, whatever the reasons are. So, you need to change your expectations: expect that you will be different from everybody (think of it as being a foreign exchange student!), accept that you are different, accept that the kids are they way they are, make plans for yourself in how to deal with things, talk with your mom AND dad about ways to deal with the issues at school. (In fact, this talking about the issues, without ever bringing up homeschooling, may influence him to not be so hard on homeschooling.)

I’m not saying that this is an ideal situation. Yes, it might very well be better for you to be homeschooled, but we can’t always have what’s best for us, so that leaves us with figuring out what to do with the REALITY. You’ve spent so long trying to figure out how to get your dad to change his mind, you haven’t been spending time figuring out how to deal with things once you’re in school.

Last of all, pray, pray, pray, pray, pray. Every time you think about it, pray. Don’t pray, “Oh please God, let my dad change his mind!” Pray, “Jesus, I know you know better than I do. I hand this problem over to you. I pray that you will guide me no matter what happens and that our Heavenly Father’s will be done.”

Do you think Jesus would say you aren’t strong enough to be a Christian in a non-Christian school? Do you think He’s abandoning you? He’s there all the time. Pray that God’s will be done and pray for strength and guidance–before, during and after–you need it. You need to give up your will in this matter; it’s your attachment to your desires which are causing you so much grief. Peace is what Jesus wants for you. Let yourself be peaceful no matter the circumstances.


5 years ago
You have some good answers here from students who have actually been homeschooled. I agree that your Dad may be tied to some out-of-date stereotypes. Homeschoolers are very successful in today’s world, and their are examples of this all over the place. Perhaps you could do more research on the Internet about successful homeschoolers, such as the ones who usually win the National Spelling Bee and National Geographic Geography Bee. You could make up an organized pro-homeschool binder for him to look at. The public schools are a disaster. The only difficulty with homeschooling is choosing the best curriculum for yourself or your child, because there is so much variety. Ask him if he would rather have you socialized into the normal public school world of drugs, violence, drinking and pre-marital sex–or into the homeschool world of high academic standards and achievement.

Wow! I’m glad you can afford the DVD curriculum. If that’s part of his concern, there are MANY that are much cheaper.

It would help to know what his concerns are; have either of you asked him straight-out why not? Tell him you’re willing to respect his wishes but really would like a chance to hear him out. He might not know why, like you said.

Anyway, you’ve got lots of good advice already, so I don’t want to circumcede any of them. I mostly wanted to say I’m sorry you’re having such an uproar. It really shouldn’t be something you’re in the middle of. It’s up to your parents to decide.

There’s one thing I don’t THINK anybody brought up, and it’s probably staring your dad in the face: GRADUATION. Can you graduate with a diploma? AB-SO-LUTELY! There are many ways to make this happen. Do you know the difference between a homeschool association and a support group? A support group only gets together for various local educational purposes; an association typically makes your homeschool legal, depending on the state you’re from. I don’t know OK laws; that’s something you could check on at the below link.

Anyway, either get into a curriculum with an accredited online school (easier DONE than said — yes, I meant to say it that way!), OR get with an association that offers an accredited diploma. You get to count the work you did at school, along with the work at home each year, and it’s turned into transcripts, and in time, a diploma. It’s worth it for parents who are afraid their kids can’t do without it.

It really helps to know where he’s coming from, but meanwhile, use that website link to get yourself prepared, too, so that when he gives his objections, you’ll know what to say. Above all, pray; and if your dad objects, know that the respectful thing to do is to back off and let him win — for now. There’s always next year. 🙂

PS I’ve included some groups you might want to check into. I’d DEFINITELY ask your mom to contact one and get some advice from them. They’re very experienced!


Melissa C
You really need to get him to tell you why. Not by whining though. After you know the reasons, research the solutions. If he is worried about socialization, there are tons of studies out that show that truly isn’t an issue. Maybe he is worried about college? College’s literally now seek out home educated students, that can be shown as well with a quick search on the internet. Bottom line, you have to know what his problem is with it before you can present an intelligent argument. I do not agree with the “just bug him” answer, that is just annoying. Be intelligent with your responses and you will get a better response.

Good luck

edit to add: Wow John! I have lost a little respect for you from the answer you gave! (see below) I was truly impressed with others I have read. Hopefully you where just having a bad day or……. where taken over by aliens or…..I don’t know, anything!


Try this… Take a piece of paper and fold it long ways, write pros in one column and cons in the other. write in all of your pros, as well as any cons you can think of, then allow him to do the same. Then, as a family, sit down and discuss what this would mean for your family. He may have some very serious concerns. You may also have him read the brochures as well. A lot of times, one parent will be against something due to beliefs or values that they were raised with. Your best chance is to sit down and talk about everything, do research about what homeschooling groups in your area offer. Here in Corpus Christi, TX there are many groups that have get togethers to socialize, trade ideas and materials, and just generally learn through each other.

Thrice Blessed
Even if your dad is mistaken, he believes he is doing what is best for you. You mentioned that there are no Christians, so I assume you ARE a Christian. If my assumption is correct, then pray. I don’t remember the exact Bible verse, but I know that there is one that says something to the effect that God turns the hearts of Kings. Your dad may not be a “King”, but biblically he IS in a position of authority over you as his daughter. If you believe that it is God’s will for you to be homeschooled then pray for God to turn your father’s heart in that direction. Also, ask your Dad to explain his reason, but be respectful. Let him know that you will abide by his decision and that you are not asking in order to argue, but just to understand his choice. If you know anything that might set his mind at ease, share it at a later time. At the time that he explains just accept his explanation.

Lastly, if he refuses, then it may not be God’s will for you to be homeschooled at this time. Perhaps there is someone in your school who is “on the fence”, seeking God, and you are the one God plans to use to bring the gospel to that person.

I homeschool my kids, I believe it is God’s will for our family. That doesn’t mean it is His will for every family.

Whatever happens, as a Christian you must obey your parents, the only incident where it would be Biblical to disobey would be if he actually asked you to commit a sin. He isn’t asking that so you must abide by his decision. You can tell him how you feel in a respectful manner, and then maturely state that you are remaining under his authority anyway, because you know that God placed you under that authority and you trust God to do what is best. If your dad is a Christian he should at least be impressed with your mature attitude and willingness to obey him even when you disagree.

If he is not a Christian then acting as I described will be good witness to him.

Don’t forget to pray!!!

I will pray for you too.

Ugg! I had to give John P. a hands down for his stereotypes of women! I don’t care if he is a homeschooler or not, his comments were offensive!


You don’t have the grammar skills that a 9th or 10th grade student should have nor do I have good grammar skills because grammar is not taught in public schools. Even so, you must be one of the top students because you write far better than most high school graduates.

Normally, I take the man’s side because most women are neither truthful or reasonable. However, in this case, you father is a donkey’s rear. Apparently he is one of the many men that once they take a position refuses to even listen to the facts.

You father is lucky to have such a smart daughter, he should be proud of you, and certainly he should love you enough for you to get a good education instead of sending you the warehouses for children called public schools where you just waist you time.

Maybe you and your mother can wear him down. Every day be real nice to him, hug him, do things for him, and fix a nice supper. Then bring it it and argue with him. Let it be a heated argument that he wins but the rest of the evening, the relationship with your dad is frosty. You do whatever he says, but he feels the chill. He will win, but it will be painful to him. Then the next day do the same thing all over again and keep doing it. That is how women get their way. The men win all the battles, but the women just keep bringing it as though they don’t remember there were any battles and it is completely new.

In that regard a woman is like a goose. Each day she wake up in a new world ready to present a brand new argument. The men are like elephants, they remember all the battles and the pain from each battle. Men love you being so nice and they get to dreading how frosty it’s going to become so finally they just give in.


All I can say is I feel and understand your pain of feeling out of place in a seemingly all non-Christian high school. I had the same battle (and I’m anti-homeschooling now). However, mid-summer before my sophomore year I decided that to better prepare myself for college and life I needed to learn how to be “in the world, but not of the world.” Many times students and parents are too quick to pull their children out of situations. Situations that could teach them important life lessons that cannot be learned from a DVD or workbook.

My struggling year, I went to school and made it the best I could. I connected with several Christian teachers and we pushed campus crusade. Surprisingly the response was overwhelmingly positive. Yes there will always be those whom oppose and say ugly things, however, that is life, and those people will never ever go away, but they will make your stronger. Trust me from a girl who was a Christian teen and now a married believing adult life; our Christian walks will not always be easy, but staying in situations that were not my favorite at the time, has conditioned me deal with life’s situations better and stronger. I will pray for your upcoming year.

On a side note. I’ll also say Christian school isn’t always the answer as they are not required to hire certified teachers and do not always have to follow state curriculum.


Miss Screamo
You have the same nickname as me. Roo.

Anyway, about this I’m not sure your dad will let you. He sounds like he is sticking to his answer pretty tough if you have even given presentations. Maybe you should make a deal with your father to try school for a week and if you don’t like it to let him let you be homeschooled. My cousins were homeschooled for a few years and when they started going to high school they adored it. Plus it might be nice to try and meet some new people. (:

If you really don’t want to give it a shot then I suggjest you bug the heck out of your dad!


Maybe God is going to use you to make changes in the kids at your public school. As a Christian you have to obey your parents and that is even if you think them wrong. If you do well in school maybe there is a chance you can go to a Christian college. I know how hard it is to be different in school. I hope you get your wish

Give your grades a lift Order