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777Captain

Hey AP English teachers and English Majors read this!!!!!?

ok im in 11th grade and i have AP English Language and Composition and we got an essay to do but i dont know if this is a good thesis. please i need help!!!!! someone tell me if its good or bad and tell me if it needs modification. the prompt was: What makes a successful personal narrative?

this is my thesis:What makes a successful personal narrative is its use of vivid descriptions, personal experiences, and story-like properties that when put together makes it as though the narrative was a story, as oppose to others that only describe the authors beliefs and personal opinions.

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Anonymous

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take out the “what makes a successful personal narrative..” Eliminate extra words (AP Lang teachers hate extra words). You also switch tenses in your sentence (narrative IS its…WAS a story). Take out the “thats” and clearify the “it”s. Don’t include the “as oppose to others that only describe…” in your thesis. It distracts readers from your main point in the thesis. When writing a thesis, make it clear, consise, and interesting.
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minfue
A successful personal narrative involves three key elements: vivid description, personal experience, and strong storytelling. When the narrative integrates all of these elements, it becomes an experience to share with the listeners or readers, rather than a simple restatement of the author’s beliefs and personal opinions.
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5 years ago
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I love to read and I read classics faster than anyone. I love them. But if I had to read Beowulf in high school I’d poke my eyes out just to keep from having to read it. And what’s with Frankenstein?? Are you TRYING to make them miserable? Instead of Macbeth, which is trite, why not Othello? Instead of the Thomas Hardy book, why not Oedipus Rex? It’ll stay with them since people still use the saying, “Oedipus complex” even though it’s not a real complex at all. But the story is good. I love the Great Gatsby … but why not throw in Catcher in the Rye. It’s a great book to discuss because it has so many different points of view. I’d drop your class so fast if I saw that list. Jane Eyre would be okay. Great Expectations would be okay. Hemingway would be great. Why Stephen King? Why not The Bell Jar Sylvia Plath? Why not throw in a few short stories like Hills Like White Elephants? Or something by Oates? I’m just saying, you want to encourage these kids to read but you pick boring books. Really boring books. Well, besides the very few that I mentioned but really Beowulf?? um, no.
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jateef
Take out the “What makes a successful personal narrative…” – when restating the prompt, it’s more sophisticated to rephrase it slightly, not use it verbatim.

The sentence is too long.

I would work that part on authors’ beliefs and opinions to another sentence in your intro paragraph.

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SJK
story-like properties that when put together makes it as though the narrative was a story, as oppose to others that only describe the authors beliefs and personal opinions.

is really weird. you used is and was in the same sentence, you need to use correct punctuation.. and……. yeah.. opposed… …….. story-like properties……………………………………………….. ……………………………… ………………

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