Help with fonding exact meaning of word?
When he was bumped up to the first class part of the plane because of his disability.
I need help with finding the meaning of condescending and patronizing because there are multiple meanings that could fit in…
Favorite Answer
Condescending has no good intentions. It comes from feelings of arrogance and superiority… The person who feels that he has more (money, education, power, etc.) is dealing with someone , whom he feels is less, and not worth the time. It is always based on the feeling of being better than the other person.
Condescending is very similar, but does not carry the implication that the desired result is in the gift of the one who is condescending. It does carry the implication that you are being unreasonable, churlish, childish, or boorish or that you are unable to understand some important point, or at best, slow to understand, and perhaps above all (nowadays), certainly impolite — but that, in spite of any and all of your failings in the matter, that the condescending person is “big enough” to look past all that and go the extra mile for you and give you some gift you truly do not deserve. (That might be a better seat, as here, or perhaps not tossing you out of a restaurant, or not sending you to the principal’s office.)
The difference here is condescending usually implies overlooking bad behavior on your part and often also giving you more than you deserve (like a first class seat when you paid for steerage) while patronizing dances along the edge of probably doing all that, but… maybe not… if, perhaps, you open your churlish mouth one more time or don’t start saying “thank you, thank you” in a little more heartfelt way. Another way of saying this is condescension is an annoyance but likely to lead to accomodation while patronization is a pure power play that could, the whole time, result in you beginning to abase yourself and in the end give you nothing.
For many, that’s a VERY important difference. But not this fellow. Like every 7th grade football coach would approve, he kept his eye on the ball — getting seating adequate for his needs (or desires — perhaps he was just working the system…).
They are slightly different, however. “Patronizing” comes from the notion that you ARE superior. You likely found the meaning that’s something like “sponsor.” While that’s not the use here, the background is that a “patron” was a person that would sponsor someone, perhaps by buying their arts, wares, or paying for development of a talent. In this case, patronizing is about being superior (typically by having money) to another person, but helping a “lesser” person. If you’re poor and someone is willing to help you, being “patronized” is a good thing.
However, it’s turned into a bad thing. In this use, it means that a superior person (or a person that believes them self to be superior) helps another person if, for no other reason, than they can.
Condescending is not nice. It’s about looking down at another person. Help is given, not as a kind gesture (as would be the case in the older version of “patronizing”), but only in order to demonstrate superiority.
In the case of my response, I am patronizing, because I’m responding as-if you are less educated than I am. I say this, not because I believe I’m superior, but because you’ve admitted to having a gap in your knowledge. I’m helping (patronizing) you.
Patronizing is behaving in a way that shows others you feel you are superior to them
Condescending is talking down to someone in order to make them understand, and
Patronizing is talking down to someone in order to make them understand, but as if they still won’t understand.
-MM
