child with learning delays, what should we do to help?

You all (mom, dad, and step family) need to work as a unit. It might be difficult to express to the bio mother that she is enabling her son to not make marked advancements. (Mothers will be mothers!) If you have a cohesive front (all parents), and challenge him (without infantalizing him)- he will 9/10 rise to the challenge. Move in small steps…”____, write one sentence without assistance.” Or, ___, complete three speech tasks on your own, and we will spend ten minutes playing a game.”

Any alphabet games – will help improve his speech. For instance:

I am going to the store to get A (apples)

I am going to the store to get A and B (apples and bananas)

I am going to the store to get (apples, bananas and cookies)

Continue with the alphabetic rotation through Z. It will help with memory as well as enunciating new or common words. If he gets stuck – give prompts such as “What comes after D?” Or, “What is something at a store that starts with F?” To work on speech and motor skills – have him spell the words too – even with blocks- or write them with a large crayon so they are colorful.

Best of luck.

My heart goes out to you and your step-son. Be very tactful when speaking to his mother about this. She may truly believe that she is doing what is best for him. She may think that since she did not do this with the older ones, they are further handicapped. Yes, by all means have him tested if you have not already done so. The two of you should consult with educators and psychologists who specialize in children with special needs and get suggestions of proven ways to help your step-son. You should do this together so that you can support one anothers efforts.

Much of what you can do will depend upon what state you live in (assuming you’re in the U.S.). For example, I live in Pennsylvania, and I know that children who are not yet in school, but who are identified with learning delays, are eligible for special services through the government, where a caseworker comes to the home(s) and works with the family/families to get everyone working on the same page.

You say that this child is 6, which means he could be in school. If so, there are federal laws to help him get the assistance that he needs in school. You should contact his school, in writing, and ask for an evaluation of him for learning disabilities (LD). The school is obligated to respond, and in fact, should be quite willing to cooperate with you.

If he is identified as having LD, then he will be provided with an Individualized Education Plan (IEP). Every child with an IEP is entitled to services through the school district to help them cope with their disability, with a goal of bringing them to the same level of learning as their same-age peers.

Unfortunately, we often find that it’s the parents themselves (like this child’s mother) who will fight against getting a diagnosis for their child. Many people believe that their child will suffer some sort of stigma if they are identified as having LD. I work in schools and I can tell you that this is not the case.

Hope that this helps. I know that you asked for some activities that you could do with him, but it’s hard to suggest anything without knowing a lot more about his deficiencies. You’re in a tough position, but it’s very good of you put out effort on behalf of your step-son.

my daughter is almost 29 and she is mentally handicapped. I have the same problems. when she was younger, we had the doctor send us to have a m.r.i test done. when she was in school, they did not even want to teach mentally handicapped children. there idea was color all day. children can learn. she is almost 29 and does not know how to read or write only alittle. have your step son tested before it is to late. He also may need speech. hope this helps. talk to his mother and if she does not want to take him to the doctor for test, speak to your husband, that you would be willing to take him for the tests to help him. my youngest son has a mild c.p and he is almost 26. his speech is sometimes hard to understand, but living with him, I understand him. he had speech in school. he is not in a wheelchair. he walks. and was on the a honor roll since five threw 12th grade. both where in special ed in school