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tryme

Can you please check my English sentences below? Which part should be fixed?

We propose that supervisors in each main activity should not hold team leader position. For example, we don’t see Mr. Robert supervising the projects under the business climate serve as a team leader in a particular project, other than being an alternate team leader. I think this is a very good pattern as it means that more works are being delegated to local staff. This pattern can be used as an example how local employees are given bigger role so that at the time when there is reduction in the currently growing number of expatriates, and hopefully it will happen soon, local employees in our office will have been ready with such a change.

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Anonymous

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We propose that supervisors in each main activity should not hold team leadership positions. For example: We don’t agree that Mr. Robert should supervise the projects under the business climate and serve as a team leader in a particular project, BUT being an alternative team leader is fine. I think this is a very good pattern because it means that more work is being delegated to local staff. This pattern can be used as an example to show how local employees are given bigger roles. This could affect the currently growing number of expatriates and, hopefully, it will happen soon. Local employees in our office will be ready for such a change.
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jenni
We propose that supervisors in each main activity should not hold team leader positions. For example, Mr. Robert would not supervise the business projects and serve as a team leader on a particular project, unless an alternate team leader was necessary. The benefit of this plan is that more work will be delegated to local staff. This pattern can be used as an example of how local employees are given a larger role. When there is a reduction in the currently growing number of expatriates, local employees in our office will be ready for the change.
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