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whatcha think of this peom?

I wrote this poem a long time ago … I know it’s sounds corny as hell but i want to share it and see what everyone thinks…

I hate this feeling

i wish i had a magic word

to make it go away

If i did i wouldn’t ever feel pain

I have a feeling deep down inside of me

a feeling i hate to feel

Do you know that feeling

where things around you are happing

but in your eyes it don’t seem real

It’s like your in a fog and things don’t clear

Everything you once loved doing

just slowy disapeer

Thats how i feel day after day

Like the depression is sinking

deeper and deeper inside of me and i can’t escape.

Please be nice … Thanks …

Top 5 Answers
Kris L

Favorite Answer

It’s actually a very good poem … but you need to go back and seriously ‘look at it’ because there are a few spelling mistakes, and in some places you are ‘telling’ and not ‘showing’ as much as you could. But I’ll give this poem a solid A- for ‘the age you were when you wrote it’ …

manasa c
Hey great poem..But i would further like to add that this poem of yours has reflected a part of your life in it.. i guess you are one of those people who ignores the positive vibes emenating from eveything around you and prefer to look at the negative aspects of is left to you to make things beautiful around you.. hope to read more of your poems sans the melancholic tone

dolores h

That’s a real good poem.

wow it isnt corny at all

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