thesis statement help?

With the recent rise of AIDS through needle use, we- {maybe society or America or a more specific audience}-should consider the consequences of a needle exchange program that may encourage drug use, escalate law enforcement problems, and contribute to increased community problems.

Just a suggestion for you to work from.

Nice work though!

I can’t tell if you are pro or con at all. You say we should think about the consequences, but you don’t clearly state if it is negative or postive consequences – it’s barely implied. I think your thesis needs to be a bit stronger. “We should really think…” sounds wimpy. Like you are afraid to commit to your point.

Also – aids needs to be AIDS – it’s an acronym. And rise of AIDS with needles doesn’t make sense. And you don’t get AIDS from needles, you get HIV which causes AIDS. And you don’t get them from needles, you get it from sharing needles. Have your facts absolutely clear in your paper.

Therefore: “With the recent rise of AIDS due to the sharing of needles between HIV drug users and non-HIV drug users communities must…” is your start. I really can’t from there because I’m unclear as to what you are trying to say. If they should or should not engage in needle exchage programs.

If you, however, saying they should NOT – your thesis should actual start with “Although there is a recent rise….” (of AIDS due to the sharing of needles between HIV drug users and non-HIV drug users communities must carefully consider the negative consequences of a needle exhange program. A program such as this may encourage drug use, create law enforcement problems, and create a more problems in the community.”

The start of your thesis as-is tends to lead the reader into thinking you are pro-exchange.

I hope this helps.