Stuttergrams?
example 1:
I took my brother Hadley to the circus and he loved it but he drank to much and it ruined his day. It would have been the
best time ‘Had had had, had Had had’ a little less beer
example 2:
CW Moss had too much to drink when he met WC Fields and that was what made ‘CW see WC double, you see?’
Using ‘Great Great Great Great’ Grandma is cheating but if you wanted to cheer up your feeble old great grandmother who can’t even grate cheese any more you might say:
“You’re doing a fine job. I think you ‘grate great, great’ grandma!”
Favorite Answer
Don’t bring none of yer half-holes to Hoal, Texas, we won’t keep ‘em. That’s cuz the whole Hoal Hole Hold holds whole holes only.
I couldn’t wait to see my favorite new martial arts movie star walk the red carpet at the opening of his new movie. When I saw him I said, “Yoo-hoo, Yu Hu!” Then he looked my way and I’ll never forget what he said as long as I live! “Yo-Yo-Yo! You who Yoo-Hoo’d Yu Hu, who you? You Yoo-Hoo yoyo!”
Hafford Horner has some BIG cows that are part Hereford that he wants to be fed a quarter bale alfalfa each day. So, every afternoon the ranch manager checks in with Hafely Harker, the hand responsible for feeding Mr. Horner’s cows, and asks, “Hafe, have Haff’s hefty half-Herfs half-halves …have they?”
The dainty Hurtleigh Jones was tending her neigbor’s wounded buffalo when she railed on the injured trumpet player she had hired to calm the beasts because he started playing some not-so-soothing Dixieland jazz music. That’s when the hurt herd heard Hurt hurt her hurt Hirt.
Nancy Dew thought her kids might complete more of the chores on their lists if she rewarded them with a Tew’s Chocolate morsel for each task completed. Along with her other children, her littlest one, Toots, completed both of his assignments and she told the older children, “Due to Toot’s two To-Do’s, Toot’s due two Tews, too, Dew tots.”
(Somebody please help me. I can’t stop!)
I have a short friend with a rather disturbing fetish – he collects miniature articles of clothing for his favorite cartoon character. When he moved recently, he marked one large crate – Mini Manny’s many mini Minnie’s many mini knee socks.
My rotund friend had a large priceless antique clay pitcher that was ruined when someone tried to die it with an inferior quality stain. In case they came back again, I left them a note so maybe they would understand just what they had done: He who hued Huge Hugh’s huge used ewer, you used used hues whose ooze abused Huge Hugh’s huge used ewer, you moron!
It was in all the newspapers the other day where Al Capone’s brother stole the take from a rival gangster’s strip club. But, the brother’s “easy” girlfriend inadvertently misplaced it. The headline read: Lou’s loose Lulu loses Lou’s lewd loot.
Phyllis Fils is a file clerk. She works for Phillip Fillz who runs a specialty tool company. Everyday Phyll’ Fils fills Phil Fillz Files file files. But, the job is only temporary. Right now Phil has piles and piles of file files to be filed. When Phyll’ Fils fills the last Phil Fillz Files file file, her filing job will be fulfilled and Phil plans to ask a Rockette dancer to can Phyll’ because he can’t and because Phyll’ can’t Can-Can the Rockette who can Can-Can can can Phyll’ Fils, Phil Fillz Files file clerk (for now).
They were showing a wonderfully authentic documentary about fishing equipment at the theater. The movie turned out to be so popular it was held over for a second run. Even on the extended run the really real reel re-reel really reeled crowds in.
A prominent powertool company has started a line of equipment for the home manufacture of spirits that have become the target of the town thief, Larry Steele. Even though the police have tried to catch him, Steele still steals Stihl’s Steel Stills.
Beau plays a reed instrument in the symphony. He got reckless at practice one day and had an accident that injured his arm. (He was such a dodo!) The injury required several stiches, so Dr. Joe Doe sewed dodo Beau Bowe’s oboe elbow bo-bo. The cost for the minor surgery wasn’t cheap. But, with his oboe elbow bo-bo sewed, Beau Bowe could once again blow his oboe (bo-bo free) for the dough he owed Joe Doe.
Our local horticulturist came up with a new type of moss product for use as garden mulch that was made from dimpled peas. It never really caught on though. It certainly was a pity Petey P. Peady’s Pity Pea Peat petered out. Petey pleaded and pleaded with people to pay a pretty penny to purchase his pity pea peat product pronto. But, Petey’s pleas pleased few. People pondered how pity pea peat could possibly produce produce and poo-pooed the idea.
A new shoe store at the mall carried so many styles and sizes they guaranteed $100 to anyone who couldn’t find a shoe they liked in the stock. Well, the town’s answer for Imelda Marcos showed up at the Grand Opening to see if she could really find something that lived up to her high fashion standards. She spent the whole trying on pair after pair of heels, flats, sandals, athletic, hiking, …style after style …and found nothing she cared to buy. When she asked for the $100 guarantee the manager told her he had spend five times that amount catering to her for thel day and refused to give her the money. So, Sue Soos sued Suess’ Shoe Zoo. The case went to court, but the judge sided with Suess’ Shoe Zoo. So, Sue Soos suit? Sousless! (I guess the customer isn’t always right.)
Pass me the doobie, Doobie; do be do be do.
You could say I have to “Regain gane gain again.”
