Revise,Take out passive langauge, make clear, concise, correct and organized.?
Crime was rampant in our community. A dear neighbor and friend, who lived just a few houses down the street, was sitting on a milk crate looking out of her front window when she was shot in the head and killed by a stray bullet intended for a rival gang member who happened to be running past her home.
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Here is some passive language that could be changed: “she was shot in the head and killed by a stray bullet.” Change it to “a stray bullet intended for a rival gang member running past her home struck her in the head and killed her.”
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no clue
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