§§ Re: a …..MURDER/MYSTERY DINNER….. How about an amusing few paragraphs that include these phrases??

“Dahhhhhhhhhhhhling…” I swooned, falling onto the back of a man leaning over a chair, “Have you a light?” I slipped a joint from my pocket and held it up to him. The man coughed and looked slightly disgusted.

“What happened to *you*?” He glanced me up and down, and tried to steady me.

“Well, we were watching Masterpiece Theater, and then the Cockroach from Hell made an appearance…” Either he cut me off or I fell down, I can’t be sure.

Another man dressed in a fancy suit aproached.

“Ah, Ms. Scarlet, it seems that there is a bit of mystery about. Have you a clue about it?” I hiccuped.

“I think you should ask the deranged Polish butler.” He frowned.

“I *am* the butler.”

“Oh. Then why don’t you know?” His frown deepened and he stormed out of the room. I turned to the man on the chair. “Was it something I said?”

“Look, Ms. Scarlet, I think you should go lay down. I’ll have Mrs. White bring you some water.”

“I’m finely perfect, (hiccup) thank you.”

“I really think you should go-”

“If I hear one peep out of you I won’t scream at you anymore! I mean, I’ll talk at you! I mean, oh God, get me an Asprin!” I collapsed onto a nearby chair. The man sighed. The butler returned.

“Mr. Green, is Ms. Scarlet quite alright?”

“A bit too much brandy, I’d say.”

“Quite a bit. However, we still haven’t narrowed down the suspects for Mr. Body’s murder.”

“Well, I’ll certainly say it isn’t her!” The butler shook his head.

“First lesson in detective school: Everyone is a suspect. I have seen some weird things in the field before, and many things weirder than a faked alabi. Have Mrs. White fetch her some coffee and then we’ll have her questioned.” He turned and walked off towards the hall.

For the first time I noticed a body lying on the floor. Mr. Body’s body. Ms. Peacock skipped into the room. Maybe it was my imagination, but she seemed tipsy as I was.

“It’s raining, its pouring the dead guy is-” she tripped and fell onto the body. All of a sudden he snorted and stirred.

“SNORING?!?!”

=]