Please help!!! i need help brainstorming for an essay about myself for my med school application?

Just something to note: You probably shouldn’t say “brain cancer at the age of seven easily topped it.” It appears here that you are placing the value of one person’s suffering below that of another. If I were you, I would say something along the lines of “but witnessing brain cancer at the age of seven was easily just as shocking and devastating, if not more.” This statement focuses more on the emotional aspect of it, rather than the “oh man, that sucks even MORE!!!!” sort of angle. You may also do well to replace weak adjectives like “worse” with stronger ones.

Bah, while we’re at it, let’s look at that first sentence. “A world I had never known” makes you sound naive and like you haven’t really been doing your research in your profession, a critical admissions point. They want students who know exactly what they are getting into and are thoroughly prepared for the rigors of the life they are about to enter. Perhaps this experience was when you were younger, but still, this statements sounds excessively naive. Maybe go with something like “I was exposed to the sheer magnitude of suffering that was going on; this took my awareness to an entirely new level.

The next sentence needs some sort of article or introductory phrase.

As for continuing in your paper, you need to talk about your strong desire to change things, to ease the suffering of the masses. Dont’ get too long with descriptions of the suffering. They don’ want to hear that; action is key. If you can come up with a proposal or a specific aspect to focus on, all the better then.

Dont’ copy these suggestions verbatim. Nor do I recommend a simple paraphrase, as those are rarely as effective as the original. If you are truly competent enough for medschool, you should be able to use them simply as jumping-off points for what you eventually end up saying. Also, as college officials are already checking out myspaces of prospective students, you can safely presume that the chances that an official is reading this website are far from none.

Good luck getting into Med-school! That’s my eventual destination as well, I hope! But of course I realize that it’s ridiculously difficult, what with their 4-7% acceptance rates….

Just out of curiosity, which college are you in right now?

“Children’s hospital was filled with unfortunate people and I had the opportunity to meet a variety of them.”

This statement seems artificial. It just goes to show your superficiality, on how you view things. Although YOU may label these children with diseases “unfortunate people”, they themselves may not view life in the same terms you would. They may place a different emphasis on certain things (you’ll have to figure out what these “things” are) Things which are not very meaningful to you, may hold a greater place in their life. I think what you want to do here is sort of go for the take that “although we may be physically different, we were not really different as it looked from the outside (you may want to describe some more physical features) Maybe it was the care-free spiritedness your friend showed when he was going through chemo treatments (I don’t know) that made you realize that there’s more to life than video games and sports. It comes down to the fact: “……………..” Maybe something like this? Just an idea

First talk about the differences between you and your friend, what preconceptions you had, how maybe your classmates viewed him, did society feel “sorry for him”? Then talk about how these differences are sort of pre-concepted. How these differences in actuality highlighted the similarities. Once you address this, talk about the realization, (“allowed a new part of me to grow”), address the “HOW” here…how did these pre-conceptions change? You say at the beginning the kids are “unfortunate”, yes, they are “unfortunate” being diagnosed with a terminal disease or whatnot…but was there any experience between you and your friend or something that you saw that changed this? (IE: Is their life really devastating as it seems? Take a look in it from their shoes, from our perspective obviously we would assume it would be)

Once you discuss the differences, which really precipitated the “similarities”, you can talk about how this experience impacted you. What did you want to do after the realization? Did you feel like you wanted to advocate more “awareness” about his situation? Or maybe address: What quality is society is lacking, that we are so blind to believe these preconceptions? Apparently, all we care about is Paris Hilton’s jail term? (lol, joke) Is there something you wanted to do about this? “I am allowed to live with a deeper appreciation for life…” What are you going to do with a deeper appreciation for life? How is thing going to help you pursue a career in medicine? By having a “deeper appreciation for life”, what qualities of a physician do you demonstrate? (collaborator, honesty, manager, effectively communicate, scholar, health advocate) Maybe after seeing how much pain you thought he was going to, made you realize that “school is not that bad”, thats how your love for learning grew in science..? (Something along those lines..I don’t know exactly how you feel about the situation)

First paragraph ( Introduce your self and give info on how you first knew you wanted to study the medical field).

Second paragraph mention your friend and his sickness and how it played a role. (how it affected him, you, and all his loved ones.

Third paragraph talk about why this inspired you to be interested in the medical field. And what kind of doctor, nurse,etc, it has inspired you to be. example( compassionate).

For closing I would elaborate a little from each paragraph W/ a closing about how I would like to contribute a piece of me that could possibly make a difference in someones life. That is how I would do it but if not you could more or less use it as an Idea. Good-luck.

I’ll give you what I got and I hope it might spark some ideas in you!

-You could talk more in depth about your friends disease and how you got into the idea of medicine through it. You touched on it, but could go more indepth.

-Why did this give you a new appreciation for life?

-(this might be lame) but what kind of doctor (or anyother medical profession) you want to be? (personality wise nad profession wise)

-talk about the person (who seems to be your best friend) and how he/she inspired you.

Those are a few ideas and I hope they spark some ideas in you! Good luck with med school!

Jane