My 5 year old is getting into trouble at school?

My name is Amanda Hall and I’m looking at joining the UCCW. Anyway, I’m curious what school your child goes to? I’m pretty certain that if you are in Utah that the principle can’t make you leave your son in school. I’m afraid of sending my son to kindergarten because I’m afraid he’d be terribly bored. We have done “learning time” since he was two and he already has good math, reading, and writing skills.

Do you think that your son could be bored? Maybe that’s why he’s getting in trouble. I have a bad feeling that if I sent my son to school that it would be the same thing; that the teacher would complain of misbehavior and that he would get in trouble. I know he’s a good kid.

Good luck to you in your decision – remember, he’s YOUR son.

-Amanda

I used to teach Pre-school and we had all type of temperaments and challenges in our class. I’ve also had a nephew and 2 kids of my own, who had a similar problem. If you’ve already had your son checked out by his doctor and there isn’t a physical reason for the fidgets maybe the reason is not him, but is his teacher. Maybe he’s bored. I wouldn’t suggest telling her she’s the problem but he sounds pretty smart for 5. Is he an only child? Do you have to keep him entertained at home or does he entertain himself well? I do believe that some teachers do expect a lot from young children. They have to be taught to sit and listen. It doesn’t come naturally. Something I might suggest is role playing and practicing at home with him. Make it a game. Tell him if he can sit still and listen to a story, puppet show, whatever you come up with, for 5 minutes that he gets to do something fun like you and he play an age appropriate game together for fun or whatever he likes to do. Then increase the time each time you practice and give small rewards, Hi-5’s, homemade certificate, etc. I wouldn’t use food or expensive ideas. He’ll want to sit there longer each time to get the reward. Explain that this is practice to help him in school. Don’t make out like he’s the problem or has a problem. It’s very natural that he has to learn to be still and listen. If the teacher gets him tested, be prepared for them to diagnose him as ADHD. Not to judge this particular teacher and some kids do have it but some are quick to label every child that requires a little more attention as ADHD. He’s still your child. You know him better than anyone else. Trust your heart about him. Good luck. It sounds like he has a parent who loves and cares an awfully lot about him. He’ll be fine!

Just promise the teacher you will talk to him. There’s nothing wrong with your kid, except that he’s probably a little bored. I daydreamed all throughout my first year in school (I was also 5, and read faster than the class, so I would read pages and pages ahead just not to be bored. Then got marked down for not being on the same page. But I knew where I stood, so I never felt bad about the teacher’s reprimands).

You can talk to your son and explain what’s driving the teacher nuts, and ask him to try avoiding it (but don’t expect immediate results). I used to keep myself “busy” with quiet preoccupations like doodling. This drove my teachers nuts anyway, all the way up to high school, but it’s less disruptive to the rest of the class than fidgeting, so my teachers just bore it. I think they resented most that I was an A student who never paid any attention to them.

Don’t hold him back a year. I was held back (beginning high school), and it did me no good.

Sounds like he’s a bright 5 year old who doesn’t learn by sitting still-just the kind of kids the schools give a hard time these days. He probably went to a good preschool that understood child development. He’s also probably more than a little bored.Kindergarten was never meant to be boot camp. A good kindergarten alternates sitting with activities that let kids move around and recognizes that boys in particular need to move.

If he’s learning and the psychologist has said he is cute and bright then I expect the problem is more the school’s than his. Go ahead and remind him what is expected of him but take it easy. With better luck he’ll have a teacher next year who understands little kids. In the meantime, ask her what accomodations she is making to meet his needs,. Probably none, but it will make her aware that you are not prepared to blame your son.

As a kinder teacher I’ve seen my share of fidgety children. I don’t know the exact data that the teacher has collected and seen as to your son’s behavior in class, but remember that we have your kids for about 7hours a day and children sometimes have the tendency to act differently at school. I would go ahead with the psychological exam just to rule out any problems. Who knows, your son might just have nothing at all and is just not challenged enough in the class. With kids, it’s just finding that thing that works.

Also- is he getting enough sleep at night? Kids aren’t like adults in the way that they deal with lack of sleep. Many kids will start fidgeting and moving around in order to keep themselves awake. One kid that I knew had to get a sleep exam done to see if he was truly sleeping at night.

I would ask to go into the teacher’s classroom to observe how she manages the class. Some teachers are more “strict” and do expect their kids to behave perfectly while others are more “liberal” and understand that kids will be kids. Also, now a days, kindergarten is basically becoming first grade. Our expectations are higher. I hope this helps.

Your son sounds just like me at that age. I didn’t sit still until 2nd grade and barely then. It really is unatural to have a 5 year old child try and sit still for long periods of time, some kids adjust and some just continue to be themselves (your son) Maybe he is bored or would rather do things in a different way. I loved to learn orally, everything was better and still is when I can get up and express myself. Not all of us can be made into cookie cutter people. I am an adult now and am still the same way, my mother told me that I was so bad she took me to a doctor to see if there was something wrong with me, a reason why I couldn’t sit still , the doctor said medication , my mother said no way and dealt with it. School wasn’t easy because I had to be constantly doing something or else I was in trouble. There is nothing wrong with your son so don’t let them label him so early in his life because the label will follow him throughout his life. Have a conversation with your son and ask him why he figets and why he doesn’t listen and please listen to him when he answers. take him seriously and then give him time to get used to being in a school setting but let him be himself. Maybe you can talk to the teacher and see if she would let him do some things in class to keep him occupied like picking up toys or getting her things , anything to keep him moving. Give him a job and tell him that he can do them everyday and see if it helps , as long as he is quiet and doesn’t disrupt the class let him be because he is obviously learning. He sounds creative and we creative types use the opposite side the brain than most people which makes us different in alot of ways, one of the those things is that we get bored easily and need to be active more than most. Hang in there he’ll be fine , find an after school or weekend program where he can let lose and be free.

Hi, I am an educational assistant. I have worked with children in grade 1 and 2. For the most part some young children do experience fidgeting. It appears that your son is doing exceptionally well in his lessons. It can be difficult for some children when entering grade 1, as the are restricted to sitting for long periods of time. I would keep reassuring and supporting him. Maybe get him into swimming lessons. I have worked with teachers and some of them can be very uptight, especially if they have 20 -25 children in their classroom. There are teachers who are oblivious to students. There are some teachers who ignore certain students and can embarss them in front of other students. I personally have witnessed this. I had one teacher say to me in front of a students that he was slow. That really pi–ed me off. Actually when I worked with him one on one he was quite different from what the teacher had portrayed him as. Some teachers are in it for the money. I’m sure your son isn’t the only one having difficulty staying in his seat. She wouldn’t tell you. It’s best to have very positive discussions with him about school.

Do you really believe this teacher is requesting a psyc exam over fidgeting? Teachers are trained to evaluate progress, if she is concerned, you should listen. An independant opinion of someone who is dealing with him daily is valuable. Quit blaming the teacher, principal and everyone else and look at what is happening here. Finally-writing stories in kindergarden? Sounds suspicious to the mother of honor student 3rd grader…Are you looking at reality here?

Heck no! That’s the worst thing you can do to a kid! There are places that will help him get the attention and challenge that he needs, so try that! I know one is called the Drake Institute and you should be able to find it online. Don’t every put a child on drugs for anything! I screws them up for life!

You can keep him home until next year, but, you better get him to a daycare that helps him learn how to share and respect others. He may be immature, a bit spoiled or having some learning difficulties. Talk to him and see why he thinks he is misbehaving at school. There are a lot of websites and there is plenty of research, including books that can help you with your concerns.

Good Luck.