Is it story time again?????

He was an adamant conservationist, by the name of John. He was known throughout the 6. Streets of Laredo as 3. Big Bad John, due to his stringent enforcement of all “green” policies, whatever they may be. He stalked the streets, the roads, the highways and by-ways, armed with his “Ecological Enforcement Rulings”, slapping citations out right and left.

Up in the hills, a drought had set in, the worst in centuries, as a result of massive global warming. BBJ was mad as hell about it all. He was stalking around, looking for someone to take his frustrations out on, when the 1. Rhinestone Cowboy rode by, glints of sunlight sparkling off his bejeweled vest, chaps and bridle. Suddenly, the strong sunlight shining through all those gems started a 5. Wildfire going. BBJ, incensed, took off in his 4 x 4 after the culprit.

He finally managed to scare the Cowboy’s horse into shying up, tumbling the poor man to the ground all in a heap. Huddling in terror, the Cowboy whimpered.

“Please, 2. Please Mr. Custer, I didn’t mean to do it, honest, please. I’m just a simple country boy, 4. A Boy Named Sue, actually, and I dress like this so that people will remember me for my shiny clothes, not my awful name. Please, don’t hurt me!”

BBJ Custer looked down in disgust. “Ah, just go and cry those darn tears all over that stupid wildfire you started and maybe THAT will put it out, you whiny sniveler!” And so he stomped off to find another disaster to thwart.

Here’s something on the silly side for you:

“Please Mr Custer!” the desperate woman cried in terror. “You have to listen to me! Big Bad John and his men are tearing through the streets of Laredo, plundering and causing ample amounts of chaos and havoc!”

“Calm down” he said as he apathetically leaned back in his plush red chair. “What can I do?”

“You can stop them!” she screamed in a rage of fury. “They have even threatened to hang a boy named Sue just because he’s a rhinestone cowboy!”

“That’s a sissy name” he replied with a smirk “We don’t need him anyway.”

“But they are setting fires too!”

“A little wildfire never hurt anybody.” He said.

In one last plea of desperation she told him “They have set fire to the saloon and all the alcohol…”

“The saloon!” He yelled with a sudden burst of energy. “Lets shoot those rascals! I’ll teach them to mess with Laredo!”