How about one more story for the night. Can you use these?

Annie MacGregor/Sunshine MacGillicutty

Modern Day Virginia

Annie MacGregor had just finished typing yet ANOTHER story about The Gunsmoke Gang….Actually HER Gunsmoke Gang…..Sunshine MacGillicutty, her literary counterpart ,was the main character, having won the heart of the handsome U.S. Marshal, Matt Dillon. She took another sip of her ever present Diet Pepsi and clicked , “submit.”

She phoned her friend Maggie, an elderly woman who lived across the street, wondering if she’d like to take a walk. Maggie readily agreed and the two met outside in a few minutes.

They exchanged pleasantries and walked along the sidewalk.

Annie:” I just finished a rather poignant story about Kitty.” Maggie loved hearing about Dodge through the imagination of her rather off-beat neighbor.At the conclusion of the tale, Maggie shook her head and said….” (5) No doubt, you’re a lost cause, Miss Kitty. And you know, Annie?….. I never knew she had a drinking problem. No wonder Matt left her for you,er, Sunshine. And one more thing….” She tripped on the edge of the sidewalk but Annie caught her!

Annie:” Are you alright, Maggie?! Shall we go home?!”

Maggie collected herself and said, patting her arms and legs…..”(1) Takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’. Hey!! Sunshine isn’t the ONLY tough cowgirl, you know! Now, back to Miss Kitty. If Festus had said that to ME, I would’ve told HIM……'(4) When in doubt, ALWAYS take the word of a friend over that of a stranger!! ‘ ”

She adopted a stern air as they continued their stroll.

Annie smiled at Maggie and put her hand on her shoulder……

“You realize of course, we are talking about fictional characters in an episode that never was on tv….. I wrote all of this, remember? Festus wouldn’t have really done that and Kitty wasn’t a drunk. She only became one in my stories because Matt fell for ME, I mean , Sunshine.”

Maggie: “Oh, yeah………. Well for heaven’s sake! Why can’t she get herself together and face facts?!” Annie shook her head and smiled.

They walked in silence for a minute or so …….until a sound caught their attention. They looked up just in time to see a deer run across a nearby field ……… Maggie and Annie watched in awed silence.

Suddenly Annie grabbed Maggie. “I’ve GOT IT!!!! Why (6) You two bit chiseler. (3) You’re just full of it, you know that ?!”

Maggie thought she had lost her mind……”What on EARTH are you talking about?!”

Annie :”Oh, sorry, Maggie…… I just thought of what I SHOULD have said in that story I subitted last night. Oh, well, la dee da.”

Maggie just stared at her…..”NOW who’s confusing facts from fiction, huh?” Annie laughed and gave her a big hug.

That night when Annie was preparing to go to bed, she thought about what Maggie had said to her….About her losing a grip on reality.

“Humph!! That’s ridiculous…….. (2) Hey, that’s my side of the bed !” She got in bed, pulled the covers over her head and snuggled close to Matt.

You know, being a household object isn’t as easy as it looks. Its almost as hard as being a shoe like me. I mean, take old Tickety. Humans slap him upside the head every morning. How do you think that feels? But you know him, he takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’. And he has to put up with the side tables arguing all the time. Not a nice word comes out of their drawers, let me tell you. I’m just chillin’ in my closet, trying to sleep, and all I here is, “Hey, that’s my side of the bed!”, “Look who’s stuck holding the dirty dishes tonight!”, “Lefty, your drawer’s open!”, and “You’re just full of it, you know that?”. But like my socks alway’s say, ‘When in doubt, just stay out,’ and I try to.

The house keys though, are always stuck in or on one of them, and they get the worse grief. Poor things are always left behind, and those tables tease them all day long. “No doubt, you’re a lost cause,” or, “You can’t even unlock a diary.”

I have to say, though, the kitchen is the worst place to be. Sticking all those foods and pointing objects together is never a good idea. The fruits are always gossiping about the breads without knowing the whole grain, those snack foods are always checking out each others nutrition facts, and knife fights break out every other meal. Phrases like “You’re just a two bit chiseler!” and “You couldn’t cut the cheese!” are always being thrown about. I just watch out for falling dishes and try to keep my ears velcroed shut.

I hope you’ve gotten a little more respect for us poor objects, and the next time you need another reality check, just take a quick walk in my, um, shoes.

=]

“Hey thats my side of the bed, you two bit chiseler.”…she said.

“No doubt, your a lost cause” he replied

“your just full of it, you know that?”

“when is doubt…” he replied “Takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin'”

1. duracel battery?

2. me talking

3. yes i do

4. check it out

5. known that all along

6. no i just like a good deal at a garage sale

🙂