!! How about a little story that incorporates these phrases??

“YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!”, Matt Dillon laughed. “That’s impossible,” he added shaking his head.

“No. I’m not,” Festus replied.

“I saw it, Mattbaby,” Miss Sunshine put in. “THE THING LANDED IN MY BACK YARD!”

“See thar, Mathew? I told you so. I waz out thar doing some chores for Miss Sunshine and tha thang just sailed right over mah head and landed right thar at my feet!”

“AND WERE YOU HAVING A LITTLE DRINKY-POO AT THE TIME, DEAR?” Matt laughed again.

Miss Sunshine took an exasperated breath. “THE NEIGHBORS ARE STILL TALKING ABOUT IT,” she added.

“MY CAMERA! WHERE’S MY CAMERA?!” Festus added excitedly. “I’ll Just take me a gawl dern picture of it and prove it to ya.”

“Listen, Mattbaby!,” Miss Sunshine interupted. “It’s on the radio!”

“WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR A SPECIAL BULLETIN…….!”

All three stood transfixed as they listened to the report.

“A large red hairy object was seen flying over Dodge City earlier today. It has aparently come to ground in Miss Sunshine’s backyard. Please be advised not to approach until Marshal Dillon has had time to investigate.”

“See thar Mathew? Ya see whot I’m a sayin’?” Festus put in. “I told ya Miss Kittie was a gonna blow her top someday and now she done done it! Why, she’s as bald as a agg. All that red hair been a wig all this time!”

(Continuation)

There once was a pig

Only he knew where the mouse was hid.

The neighbors were still talking about it…..*

The lies the pig told…

They knew he was full of poop

When he said, “She had struck gold!”

And said that she had asked….

“My Camera, My camera! Where’s my camera?!”*

And that she lost it so she drove to McLamera

Then a slightly cold day…

When the lying piggy was driving away….

A suspicious neighbor watched him drive by….

“We interrupt this program for a special bulletin…”*

Mr. Piggy is on the loose, someone let him out and we don’t know why!!!!!

The suspicious neighbor felt a slight shake…

Needing to hold on… He held on to the rake….

Reached for the telephone… Dialed 9-1-1….

The operator said the shaking had just begun!!!

“What are you crazy it stopped??”

Then the champange in the cabinet exploded and popped!

His wife just came home, completely in shock…

Everything was a mess and saw a glowing light outside!

“And were you having a little drinky-poo at the time dear?”*

When the wife explained to her husband what she had seen…

Then another flashing light, the color BRIGHT GREEN!

THE THING ON THE TV LANDED IN MY BACKYARD!!!

IT was a space ship controlled by the evil pig

But this time he was bigger and wore a large wig….

They now know where the tiny mouse went….

But the other neighbors?

Their minds were bent…

The piggy was no where to be seen after that Wednesday…

The neighbors are still talking about it to this very day….

“So ralph, how was bowling league last night??” Every wednesday morning this question was dropped at the breakfast table; and every wednesday morning ralph felt entirely guilty at not being able to answer without lying. This wednesday was worse because he honestly couldn’t remember how his night had been. “Oohh. . . .great, wish you could have seen Tom, he had an incredible game last night.” Work was long, because Ralph had a pounding headache. He knew that there would be no relaxing at home because they were having a dinner party with all of the friends. Donna loved throwing parties, and made sure that everything was perfect, especially Ralph. And even with all of her fuss Ralph loved making Donna happy, so the show would go on. Little did anyone especially Ralph knew how far from perfect the evening would be.

Sure everything started out great, great food, great friends, and even a great soccer game on tv, but the trouble began with these few words “We this program for a special bulletin…….” and then continued as a concerned looking newscastor related a story that promised the end of “Bowling league” forever. Four men were spotted streaking through town last night, . . . . . . . they were spotted again that evening driving around after having made a catapult out of various lawn-mower parts, and flinging dismantled signs, car parts, and even pet kittens throughout the town- sometimes flinging them over fifty feet. Donna looked up in amazement at vidio footage “YOu have GOT to be kidding me, grown men acting this way!” The camera reeled footage of people screaming “My camera! Where’s my camera?!” and an innocent elderly woman saying “The thing landed in my backyard!” as she pointed to a large potbelly pig that no one knows where he came from, to this day. Everyone in the room was shocked, but bewilderment decended as the faces in the pictures and footage became recognizable – there lay proof of what Ralph had been doing the night before, the lies had finally found him out. “And were you having a little drinky-poo at the time, dear?” Came donna’s voice somewhere out of oblivion. The story was wrapped up by the still put out newscaster saying “the identities of the men are still in question, if you have any knowlege or inclanation as to who did these heinous acts please identify local police. Now back to the regularly scheduled broadcast.” Needless to say the party was over, and we can only suppose the obvious consequences of the four mens actions.

Tuesday nights were now spent at home in deep housework. And even Ralph’s plees for freedom were not heard only answered with a “I can’t believe you, The neighbors are still talking about it!!!” And in fact the neighbors still are talking about it. They are talking about it right now on Yahoo answers, and I believe it will be some time still before they quit talking about it.

I would like to tell you that no pet kittens were harmed other than deep emotional scars, which they are now working out in therapy. And the elderly woman grew to love her pig, so she moved to a sheep farm and named him babe; but I bet you are familiar with that story.