♥♥How about a little story that includes these phrases?

i have had it. that giant cockroach the size o’ my foot is driving me over the edge. first he burned out my hairdryer, then used up all my hair gel, then all my wax strips, and now he’s stolen the t.v. well, he’s not here anymore (thankfully) , but then, neither is my t.v. which was bad. but this was a legitimate crime that had been commited, so i called the cops again, confident that this time, they’d do something about it.

when they got here, one officer asked me to tell the whole story. i started with the hairdryer. he interrupted me saying, “i see…..umm….. was this before or AFTER the giant roach stole the tv?” i said it was before. the other officer came back from inspecting the kitchen and reported “lots of empty bottles of booze in the trash bin.” i said, “the roach drank all those.” the two officers exchanged a Look. i detected a movement at the corner of my eye. “oh my god! i think i just saw it!!! it must be coming back for my satellite dish!” the officers exchanged another Look. one said into a walkie-talkie “this is car 54…. i think i need backup.”

moments later the backup, which turned out to be a psychoanalyst arrived. he announced as he strode into the room “we interrupt this conversation for a little… psycho-analysis!” “what?!” i cried. “what about my television? that’s the only reason i called! why do these things always happen in the deep South?” the officers and the psychoanalyst exchanged a Look, murmuring to each other, “we’re in new york city, not the deep south.” the taller officer said to the psychoanalyst, “borjes, you better take this one.”

huh! a kleptomaniacal cockroach just made off with my television and was very possibly staging a return attack at my satellite dish, and I’M the one getting therapy?! justice indeed!

p.s. i made my own one of these again. answer if you’re interested.