Homeschooling expectations?

Completely depends on the state in terms of expectations.

It sounds like they are unschooling. Unschooling boys typically don’t learn to read until about age 12 but then, within a very short time, they are reading at grade level! (No joke, I’ve seen it happen!) Then there’s Abraham Lincoln who didn’t learn to read until age 14. Sudbury Valley and other Free Schools also don’t force reading yet all the kids finish school there knowing how to read and write even though many are not reading at age 9. You can still be successful later in life and without having started the reading process at age 6.

More and more studies are coming out which show some real detriment to a child being forced to learn to read at that age, especially boys. Because they are physically usually more immature than girls, their brains aren’t always wired to be ready to process the information correctly as needed for reading at that age.

It’s nice that you are concerned and very good that you aren’t meddling, since it’s not your place at all, but do try not to worry about it too much. While our society now places a huge emphasis on early reading, that’s a very recent expectation.

Seems the idea that he “should be reading at 9 yrs old” is very much a cultural idea and not a developmental idea.

Children in Finland don’t start school until they are 7 and spend the first 4 or 5 years “learning through play”. Yes, kids in other countries such as the USA are far ahead in terms of the three Rs (reading, writing, arithmetic) when they are young…but by the time those same children are 15, the Finns are at the top of the league, far ahead of American children. The Finns also have a far higher standard of living and far greater numbers of young people going onto university education.

Therefore how early (or late) a child starts reading seems to show no correlation to educational & attainment levels in the longer term.

Hannah

I understand your feelings on this, but there may be things that you aren’t aware of. There are many kids that don’t start reading proficiently until age 10-12 – many of them are boys – but once they are developmentally ready, they take off and are reading novels almost immediately.

You are right not to meddle; it wouldn’t help things at all. What he needs is not to feel that you think he’s behind, but to know that you’re proud of him for who he is. My son is 9.5, and though he’s doing math and science on a 7th-8th grade level, he just started reading proficiently in the past few months. Now, he’s easily reading on a 6th grade level and really enjoying it.

Every state has different requirements, but that doesn’t mean that every kid is going to meet them. Kids are just that – kids. They’re people. They’re not going to meet an academic expectation until they’re ready to, no matter what the state standards say.

There are things that you can do to help. When he’s with you, read aloud with him whenever you can. Go to the library and pick the librarian’s brain – what kind of books might he like based on his interests? My son really got into The Time Warp Trio by Jon Scieszka – written especially for boys – and the Chronicles of Narnia. As he gets more and more into hearing books, he’ll get more and more into wanting to read them, and he’ll just plain pick up books and start reading them.

I promise, it’s nothing to worry about. She is his mom – she knows his needs – and it really is between your husband and her. His needs would be best served by your offering to help in whatever ways you can. I do understand where you’re coming from, but there are so many different facets of this to consider.

Hope that helps!

At 9 years of age, a child should be able to read if he has gone to PS to learn the basics. If he has not gone to PS then it all depends on which state you are in. Illinois has no certain curriculum. I will be homeschooling and have researched homeschooling on the Internet. To relieve your reservation get on the state laws for homeschooling web sites and see for yourself what a child at the age of nine needs to know. I figure he should be the equivalent of 3rd grade, possibly 2nd grade. Websites fo homeschooling is a great resourse.

We are from a dyslexic family and my two older children didn’t learn to read until they were around 10. I homeschooled them for the very reason that they had these issues and they were very unsuccessful and made fun of in public school.

Now my oldest is a junior and just scored a 28 on his ACT’s my second child finished 8th with a 22. These were kids that didn’t read until they were 10.

Reading is very developmental and you can beat your head against the wall (or spend hundreds in tutoring) if the child is not ready. In Sweden they don’t even begin teaching reading until the third grade.

So… let his mother be the judge…. but when he is with you read to him all the time… and if he is starting to read, then let him read a page and you read a page. Make it a fun bonding experience …. and reading will come.

Being 9 and not reading is something to address. My 6 year old reads on a 2nd grade level. Not all homeschoolers are really “homeschooling”. There are different laws and regulations in every state. Your step-son may have a learning disorder, get him tested and then evaluate the situation. There is no excuse for a 9 year old to be illiterate. Hooked on phonics is a great helping tool . Maybe you can purchase this and help him when he is over. It would create some lasting memory time together just to sit and have him read to you.

www.hslda.org Check this out to see what the laws are in your state. We should all report people who are not properly educating their children, it effects all the rest of us homeschoolers and gives us a bad name and hurts our communities. Just make sure it is the mothers fault and not a learning disorder before reporting her!

My kids were in the public school system and I felt that they were not learning enough. My son seemed to lack basic knowledge that I thought he should have. After an intense summer of catch up he is ahead of the public school. If you want to help than please visit Borders books or the nearest teaching store. Maybe just having fun coloring books and other teaching games laying around for him to play with may help. My favorite are the bingo games. There are ones for letters, rhyming, math and other are also available. I give the kids one penny for every square and if we play 10 games they get to keep all the pennies and win a piece of candy for every bingo. There are also things called reading helpers. The kids love them because they are cool. At nine it seems to be fun to read between the colored lines.

I know it can be.. disconcerting if you aren’t used to homeschooling.

My youngest dd is extremely bright but she cannot read. She is 9. She also happens to be severely dyslexic.

Many kids, especially boys, are not ready to read as young as the school system thinks they are. Studies have been done showing that boys who waited till 3rd grade to learn to read have caught up within months and have had no problems at all. If he is a bright child AND there are no learning disabilities then he will be able to read sooner or later.

Kimmie, you need to be careful about how you word things. I know you mean well but saying that there is no excuse for a child of 9 to be illiterate isn’t a true statement. Kids with learning disabilties have a tough time and a lot of them won’t learn until they are much older if at all. 🙂

As for regulations, every state is different.

Edit; Kimmie, I figured that’s probably what you meant. Thanks for clearing it up! 🙂

Different states have different criteria. Also keep in mind that there are children in public schools that at 9 can’t read either. Being bright also doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have a learning disability. Some people follow the child led learning philosophy and let the child decide when to learn things. I think that you are probably better off not saying anything like you have been doing. It won’t change anything other than strain relations

Some states do have specific things that they must do. Inorder to know this information check out the following website. www.hslda.org

There are very different forms of homeschooling, one type is where the parent may use specific types of books or materials. Another form of homeschooling is called Unschooling. This means that the child has controll of what they want to learn. For instance, the child may not want to learn until they are 12, for some parents, they accept their childrens desires to want this. Unschooling is when the parent has enough trust in their child to determine that they know what their children want and what they want to lean and how they want to learn.