☻ Can you write a few paragraphs that include these phrases?
2. And what little woodland fairy told you THAT?!
3. DO join me……….. Misery loves company.
4. I am positive you were born in a parallel universe.
5. Gaaaaaaaawd…..WHAT a migraine.
6. Did I miss the signpost? You know…..The one that says:”Welcome to the Twilight Zone.”
Favorite Answer
“Hey Mari”, she hollered as she made her way towards Marissa’s gate. “I heard you were throwing a margharita party to lift the spirits of all your beloved and desolate neighboring ladies”.
Marissa lifted her head in a mock surprise and said,”(2)And what little woodland fairy told you THAT?!” Then seing that Sally, not realizing she was teasing, hesitate at the gate, she waved her hand in a welcoming gesture as she raised the other hand holding a glass of margharita in a salute and added,”(3)DO join me….Misery loves company. Here, I’ll bring the pitcher out with another glass, so we can both drown our sorrows with a twist of lime”.
As Sally threw herself in one of the wicker chairs on Marissa’s porch, she exhaled loudly,”(5)Gaaaaaawd….WHAT a migraine. I really need some loosing up right now”. “Thanks, hon”, she added as she took the large glass of bright, ocean-like green liquid from her friend.
As she licked the salt off the rim of her glass, she murmered,” I can’t take another day of work at the office, anymore”.
Marissa, known for her intolerance for people blowing the petty issues of work out of proportion, then whine about them until those issues ruin their personal lives aswell, groaned and said,”This is a saturday, Sally.(6) Did I miss the signpost? You know….The one that says:”Welcome to the Twighlight Zone”, You are in a blessed weekend and you are whining about your office issues now, instead of making the most of a beautiful saturday afternoon. What is it this time? Your boss won’t let you take your yearly vacation due to being understaffed? What brilliant excuse to mope about did you come up with this time?”
Sally responded in an unnecessarily dramatic meloncholy tone of voice,”My insufferable boss passed me up for a promotion, knowing full well that I am better qualified for that administrative position than anyone else. However, since he came on to me in the last christmas party and I plainly rejected him, he has been getting out of his way to discredit me. I feel like strangling him.”
Marissa rolled her eyes and retorted, “In this century we sue people when we feel unfairly treated at work, not strangle them. Why don’t you talk to a lawyear and see if you can make a case out of your situation?”
Sally, looking more dejected than ever, replied,”I did talk to an attorney and he thinks that for the position that I desire, the rest of the candidates are all semi-qualified and unless I have a masters degree to back it up I don’t stand necassarily quite that far ahead of the rest of them in terms of educational and vocational background. He says we don’t have sufficient evidence to build a case that would stand on the court of law, but he told me that we could sue for sexual haressment if I wanted to take up the christmas party angle. However, although my boss did come on to me and flirted with me during the party, he didn’t say or do anything that would be construed as a sexual haressment. Besides if I take him to court and fail, he would make the rest of my days at the firm really misreable in a subttle and infuriating way”.
Suddenly Sally stood up causing some of her drink to spill on her light blue skirt. She didn’t even seem to notice that when she announced,”I’ve had it. I am beyond frustrated and I will go over to his house right now and confront him on this matter. (1)First I’m going to tell him what I think of him. Then I’ll go home, throw up and I’ll be back later today.”
Marissa got up and caught Sally’s arm with an agility that you wouldn’t expect from her pettite frame and retorted,”Now (4)I am positive that you were born in a parallel universe. You are NOT going over to your boss’ house on a saturday. Are you crazy? Just wait till monday, write down everything you need to say to him in a reasonable and professional way. Prepare an impressing speech and relay it to him in his office, on MONDAY!!! In the meantime, you need to chill out, and soften those rough edges, so sit down and I’ll fill you another glass as soon as you finish that half-spilt one”.
Sally sank back in the wicker chair realizing that her friend is right and feeling slightly ashamed of her outburst. So, to change the subject, she quitely asked,” What about you, what is it that is bothering you, today, Mari? I noticed your forlorn expression from the other side of the street.”
When Marissa raised her crystal clear eyes to Sally and deadpanned,” I just got a letter from Iraq, the military has extended the period of deployment of my daughter”, Sally felt even more embaressed.
She got up and approached Marissa, who was sitting on an orange painted wicker chair and without speaking put her arms around her friend.
Sometimes silence could speak a thousand words.
THE END
i opened the door, glared at him. “what do you want?” “this is a important thing i say.” “just say it susie so i can go home, throw up, and be back later today.” “i change my name sally.” “okay, i don’t care.” i was about to close the door in his face, when he siad, “wait. i want you walk me.” “only if you go away after that.”
we wre walking down the street and susie, er, sally said, “i thinking. maybe go back nuthouse.” did i miss the signpost? you know…the one that says: “welcome to the twilight zone.” sally actually wanted to go back to the institution? this was amazing! it couldn’t be true. i said, “and what little woodland fairy told you THAT?!” i knew he could never be capable of making a sane decision on his own. “no fairy. a unicorn tell me. he said he give me cheese if i go back.” “i am positive you were born in a parallel universe.” “no parallel. i just different.” oh my god! did he just say that? i must be going insane myself. i couldn’t take it anymore. i ran off. i found a park bench. i heard a voice say, “DO join me…Misery loves company”. i looked up to see a unicorn attached to a harness dragging a bathtub full of cheese. “why are you sad? youre the one getting rid of sally.” “there was another condition. if he went back, i would go live with him in the mental institution. as well as the cheese, which he doesn’t want to eat, just to keep little woodland fairies away.” “oh my god, that’s horrible.” “someone will let him out agian.” “i suppose.” gaaaaawd…WHAT a migraine. some things should never change.
p.s. this one wasn’t too funny either was it? 🙁
“And what little woodland fairy told you THAT?!” Francy replied.
“I heard it from that girl that works at the diner.”
” Well I am so not dating that freak”
“So what are you going to do about it?” Sally asked her friend.
“First I’m going to tell him what I think of him. Then I’ll go home, throw up, and I’ll be back later today.” Francy said into her cell phone as she walked up to Mr. Larence’s front door. She went to knock on the door and it swung open as if it knew what she was going to do.
“Did I miss the signpost? You know…The one that says:” Welcome to The Twilight Zone.” She muttered to herself as she walked into the house. She heard music playing and walked in that direction. There she found the man she was looking for standing in the parlor.
He glanced at her and said “Do join me…misery loves company.”
“Where did you get that phrase? Been watching too many movies lately.” she replied
“Ah my dear, but I have never seen a movie.”
“Never seen a movie? I am postitive you were born in a parallel universe. How could you have never seen a movie?”
“It is simple my dear. Everytime I went to watch a movie, the lights would give me a headache so bad I had to leave.”
” I guess all I can say to that is…Gaaaaaaaawd….WHAT a migraine”.
LOL..hope you enjoyed that.
“And what little woodland fairy told you THAT?” asked the fairy. She thought that only creatures of her kind knew that sort of thing.
“Well, on entering the Twilight Zone, you share what you know automatically with others.”
“The Twilight Zone?” asked the fairy in surprise. “Did I miss the signpost?”
“Which one?”
“You know… DUH! The one that says, ‘Welcome to the Twilight Zone.”
“Oh.”
The little woodland fairy thought to herself, First I’m going to tell him what I think of him. Then I’ll go home, throw up, and be back later today.
“I am positive you were born in a brainless universe and I am GOING HOME.”
Oooooch, she thought. What a migraine.
Sorry, some of your phrases I altered a bit. Hope you don’t mind.
